what do you say in a moment like this

Oct 07

Posted by: Scott in: blog, caleb isaiah, family, me myself and i, memories, parenting, ramblings

when you can’t find the words to tell it like it is…

I couldn’t wait to get to the hotel room tonight so I could meltdown. As soon as I shut the door I sank to the floor. Caleb came over and said “what’s wrong mom, why you feeling sad?” I hugged him tight and asked him if he remembered great grandma. I already knew the answer. As soon as we walked in the door, he ran in her bedroom. He asked where she was. The hospital bed was gone and her bed had been reassembled in its place with white neatly made bed linens. There were so many people there and I couldn’t fight back the tears to tell him then.  So as I sat on the floor here, I told him that she was very sick and she had to go to Heaven. But I know Heaven is no further than the grocery store to him.

He has a huge knot on his head from tripping over my shoe and slamming headfirst into the woodwork. You know how the bump pops up immediatly in cartoons? Yeah that’s real because it happened. I wanted to cry as hard as he did. My mom told me several people had said that my grandmother was waiting to see Caleb and me one more time. It had been two years.

I wish I could say I’m handling this well, but I’m not really. I just wanna get through tomorrow.

Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way…

I love you MaMa.

Comments

One Response to “what do you say in a moment like this”

    Lauren
    October 7th, 2007 10:50 pm

    awww I just want to take you and hold you and tell you everything will be alright!! I know I say this a lot but we are thinking alot about you!!

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