flunking motherhood

Feb 19

Posted by: Scott in: blog, caleb isaiah, parenting, rants

I have been feeling unbelievably down lately. I don’t know what’s up with me. Okay I do. But I refuse to go to another doctor that I don’t feel connected to and spend the next two years trying different combinations of antidepressants, only to gain more weight. SO. That being said…I’m just in a real slump. I’m not motivated. I’m feeling like a bad mom today. I just don’t have the patience that I should. I yell at the dog. I get frustrated way too easy with Caleb. I went to the store tonight, after spending much of the day pouring over The Toddler’s Busy Book. I gathered up many supplies in order to follow some of the activities listed in the book. We’re starting with something easy. I plan to do at least one activity a day for the next month, hopefully more. So after breakfast, wish us luck with our “Tape Town.” We will be clearing a spot on the floor with the leaf blower, front door wide open by picking up the toys and putting them away, and putting down a road/parking lot/building system with blue painters tape. Then we’ll drive cars through the town. I figure he should enjoy this activity because he loves cars. I will be making colored rice during naptime…won’t that be interesting. And I’ll be attempting to photograph our activity a day, as well as blog about it that evening. We are forming a good habit here. Yes. I can do this. I’ll end with a mother’s prayer:

Dear Lord,
So far today I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or very indulgent. I’m very grateful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on, I’m going to need a lot more help. Amen.

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