It sure is hard to believe you are three years old. I have been a bit sad today honestly. And last night. And the last couple weeks. I stayed up late cleaning up the nuclear fallout that was our house. It took me three hours to get three rooms under control. Two rooms and a few blocks on the floor in the third actually. I wanted today to be yours completely. I didn’t want to worry with the house. I sat down last night when I was all done and just stared at your pictures. My how you have changed. Each month that passes I find myself thinking, this is absolutely the best age. Surely it can’t get any better than this. I just want to freeze you at this age forever. But another month passes, and with it come new things, requiring me to revise my “favorite” age.

An hour old

A day old

I have now realized, I am trying to kill myself, one ridiculously difficult birthday cake at a time. We did a construction theme for your first birthday, so messy was okay. I can still remember Scott and I suddenly both waking up at 3:30am. We couldn’t believe both of us woke up at the same time, and looked at the clock. We counted down the minutes until 3:35 and we both kissed you and told you Happy Birthday as you lay there snuggled between us sound asleep. At 3:36, Scott started snoring again. I was up until around 5:30am reliving those first hours like a movie recorded in my head and played back on the dim ceiling of the bedroom.

The smash cake

For your second birthday, I must have looked up one gazillion different vehicle cakes. I settled on a Disney Cars themed cake. Four birthday cakes later, I had the 1.5 cakes I needed.

For Christmas, your grandmother (my mom) gave you a cake pan that bakes little car shaped cakes. As soon as I saw it, I knew it had birthday written all over it. We decorated cakes in February, and I began the baking process Thursday. We had to reschedule the birthday party at the last second, so I started over on Saturday so that the cakes would be fresh for Sunday’s party. Let me tell you little man, I sure hope you appreciated it, because I actually dreamed about baking cakes. No lie. I was so worried I wouldn’t have time to finished decorating Sunday morning, that I dreamed I was painting little cars in my sleep. When we were pulling out of the driveway, I calmly turned to Scott and said, you are a Sunday afternoon driver and you are 80 years old. I fully expect you to anticipate a pig falling out of the sky. Because if those cakes have a fender bender in the trunk, you won’t live to tell about it! (PS they were all delivered in pristine condition.)

Each car has a chocolate letter on it (yep, made those myself too) that spells out Happy Birthday Caleb #3

There’s even a Lightning McQueen

you and cousin BJ

Three towering candles

A chocolate muffin with candles for the birthday boy this morning. Charley was there to help blow them out. And eat some muffin.

One of the most common phrases in our household is now “I can do it aww by mysewf.” Everything from climbing in the car, going down steps, and using adult silverware to trying to dress yourself, putting on your shoes, and reading (reciting from memory) books. You have yet to apply this newly found independence to potty training though. Soon enough, soon enough.You have become our car radio. You sing us down the road every car trip now. We exchange glances and giggle in the front seat over how adorable you sound. Your birthday party was moved to its rain-date location at the church. The whole way home yesterday, you sang to us, “Wain Wain Go away, Come again a-nut-der day…”I love that you can pronounce words such as Mississippi and Maximum Destruction, but no matter how many times we tell you that our orange cat is a boy named Bubbus, you insist that she is a girl and her name is Bobbis. We pronounce Bub-bus very clearly and you respond Bob-bis with the same clarity.

In your hooded bear towel from Auntie Julie

I love that you ask about Daddy during the day all the time as if he is a long lost friend. Once every few hours, you will ask, “Where’s my Daddy?” or say “I want my Daddy home.” You are his shadow, his little helper. Anything he is working on. From changing tires, to working on ovens to fixing coffee. You are right there, soaking up information about the task at hand. If it involves tools, you will no doubt need your Little Tikes assortment of tools as well. Daddy has you in training, you pick flowers for me outside like they are going out of style. You have even gotten into a few landscaping beds at public places and picked flowers before I could stop you.

Playing with birthday stuff

I love that you think I belong to you. You love to be close. In my lap resting your head while we read a book. Cradled in my arms to fall asleep at naptime. Practically in my lap in a restaurant booth. Two inches in front of my face speaking as if you were three rooms away if I’m trying to nap. There are no personal boundaries. Personal space is non-existent. When Scott and I hug, you run over to worm in between our legs. You put your back against mine and push Daddy away with all your little might. The other day you even said, “Move Daddy, so I can have Mommy!” You already have me kiddo. You already have me.

Like the porcupine shirt? He chose this shirt out of about five different ones. Probably because it looks like the wolverines on the game he loves, Gulo Gulo.

Playing Froggy Boogie

One night a few weeks ago, I was sitting with you just before bed. All was dark and quiet, I couldn’t help but hug you extra tight and kiss you a few extra times. As I buried my face in your soft cheeks you whispered “You’re my best mommy.” “And you are my best Boogaman,” I replied softly. I just couldn’t let go. I couldn’t make myself put you in the bed. We sat, you cradled in my arms. Your legs hung well over the armrest. I just watched you intently. A few times you reached up and closed my eyes, as if to say “quit staring at me!” I asked if you were ready to get in bed. “Sit wif you.” Okay, but just for a few more minutes, then you must go to bed. Just for a few more minutes, need me to fix anything with a hug. Just for a few more minutes, stay little. Just for a few more minutes.

I love you more today than I did yesterday. And I’ll love you more tomorrow than I did today. Happy birthday Little Man.

Comments

4 Responses to “dear caleb, as you turn three…”

    Lauren MonsterID Icon Lauren
    March 31st, 2008 9:33 pm

    Awww this brought tears to my eyes! This is something he will always look back on and cherish! What a wonderful mommy you are! And you are amazing making that birthday cake!! You are so wonderfully creative!! You should start a cake buisness! I will place an order in Sept lol!

    Jen MonsterID Icon Jen
    April 1st, 2008 11:17 am

    The cakes came out great! I was in William Sonoma this morning and saw the train pan & thought of you guys - weird, huh?

    Anyway, beautiful post -Happy Birthday Caleb!

    nadine case auntie of caleb MonsterID Icon nadine case auntie of caleb
    April 1st, 2008 10:26 pm

    Rach,

    The tears are many after reading this, you are a great MOM. I enjoyed this very much, writing books, taking photo, making your magic on baking or videos like you did for Mickey equals one talented Rach. The birthday cake was fantastic, great job.

    I enjoyed Caleb’s #3 more than you know. He is a cutie pie and full of life. When he was playing ball with Mickey his eyes would light up everytime he got a hit. He is one more fantastic child and we love him very much.

    Keep huggin him tight everyday, it seems like yesterday I was kissing BJ good night and tucking him in bed…. enjoy this time because it’s the best.

    Love ya, Auntie Nadine

    Julie MonsterID Icon Julie
    July 3rd, 2008 6:02 am

    I have to admit I didn’t read your post yet, I’ll go back and do that now… but I had to comment now because that smash cake is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! So fun and creative- I’ve never seen that before! Love it! :) The little cars are super cute too!

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