You’ve been seeing a lot of pictures lately.  And I’ve been taking a lot.  And feeling about a million miles away.  With writer’s block.  Weird.  Sometimes in stressful situations, I can write and it helps.  Other times, I can’t think of anything to say to save my life.  Or at least I can’t put it down ‘on paper.’  So apparently I just take pictures instead.  You ever have a period of time where the days fly by and at the end of each one, you think, what did I actually accomplish today?  The hours are gone, but you feel like you’re in the same place you started that morning.  And you get up and do it again the next day.

My mother inlaw has been having a lot of health problems lately.  Quite frankly, she gave us all quite a scare.  The doctors determined her heart strength to be significantly lower than it should be.  It was one of those things where, she  felt a little worse gradually, then that became normal, then a little more winded, and then that became normal, until suddenly normal was really a struggle.  Thankfully a defibulator/pacemaker seems to have her feeling a little better, other than recovering strength from the ordeal in the past several weeks, which involved several hospital stays.  The rather ironic part is, two days before a catheterization to determine if there was any type of blockage, she was going down the slide with Caleb at the park next to her house!  I’ll do her the favor of sparing the photographic proof of her deciding 3/4ths of the way down that it might not have been such a wise idea, but she did make it to the bottom with a big smile.

Then there’s the job.  You know, that ugly thing that provides ever cent we need to survive?  Well it has been a battle zone recently.  Uncertainty.  Stress.  Disrespect.  Stress.  Did I mention stress?  You probably don’t want to know the grizzly details.  I’ve been doing everything I can think of to conserve money, spend wisely.  Hopefully this will blow over.  Truly a reminder of nothing is guaranteed, even if you moved into a house that was on the high end of your budget on that premises.

Discovering an empty pool.  A face sad enough to almost put 5000 gallons back in there.

“Picking berries” which he says will grow into a beanstalk that will reach the sky

Caleb received a VW bug from his Auntie, so I once again set about the task of transforming it into Herbie.  This one started off red, so I was forced to add a white base coat this time.  I allowed plenty of dry time (a mistake I made last time because the paint smudged almost immediately), and worked over about a two week period.  Adding three coats of white, then each stripe and the I drew on the 53’s with a paint pen (looked like I had the DTs or something, surprisingly my hand was more steady with the paint brush, go figure), and lastly added the sunroof, bumpers and tail lights.  He was thrilled yesterday morning.  Then he dropped Herbie last night at Walmart and a big chip of paint flaked off!  How disappointing.  He was crushed too.  He just got silent and almost started crying.  It was pitiful.  But we assured him that Herbie could be fixed.  I think I’ll try some clear coat spray over him in hopes that it will give the paint some stability after all my hard work.

He started off red.  Now he is Herbie.  The kid is thrilled.

~ Taken Today ~

I see you.  I hear you.  I just do not intend on looking at you.

The difference between kids and adults: we actually mind laying in the sand, whereas kids, not so much.

Raining today.  We played on the screen porch for a few hours.  Pretty chilly, had to break out the long sleeves.  Listening to the rain was relaxing.

I’ve found solace in my photography.  I sat down one night last week.  Made my rounds online.  No new emails, blog entries, not much going on with the mommy board I frequent.  I sat here staring at the screen.  Scott was already asleep.  Don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I looked up the RAW picture files from the one decent snowfall we had last winter.  I spent the next hour tinkering with them in Adobe Lightroom.  For that hour, I forgot about everything going on.  I got lost in the calm, quiet snow of the pictures below.  I remember that day, it was so quiet you could almost hear the snow fall.  The middle picture is still my favorite.  Especially since it used to be my backyard.

We are heading off on an adventure tomorrow.  An adventure brought about by Caleb’s three year well checkup at the pediatrician.  Yes he’s three and a half.  Shutup.  At least I can say it is our first time going since his two year well visit a year and a half ago!!  So that counts for something.  That plus I can use the -we were moving- excuse.  We were looking at houses right around his birthday, and moving at the end of April.  Then the summer skipped on by and here we are.  It is strange though.  Last time we were there, he wasn’t even talking.  And now he’s up to 100,000+ words per day.

After the pediatrician, we are headed to the children’s museum, always a favorite.  I’m packing lunch and snacks to take along to save some of that green stuff.  In fact, my goal is for tomorrow to be completely free.  With the exception of $4/gallon gas of course.  I have selected a cool castle event venue in hopes of getting some neat pictures tomorrow.  Clothes are laid out, lunches are packed, camera is stowed, plus undies, extra clothes, a small trash bag, napkins, a toilet and a maybe kitchen sink in there somewhere.  Feels like you’re going camping for a week when you leave home with kids on a day trip.  I must say, I’m looking forward to the opportunity to spend the day away tomorrow.  Clear my head.  I sure hope the weather is nice.  The house was just dim all day today and it rained today, and I just wanted to go back to bed.  All. day. long.  Tomorrow will be a good day.  If I can just stop my head from calculating how much every 1000 feet costs to drive (I stay home.  A LOT.).

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, and taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” - Gilda Radner

Comments

7 Responses to “cheaper than therapy”

    nadine case auntie of caleb
    September 16th, 2008 8:33 pm

    WOW! Herbie never looked so good!!!!!! You are one more talented lady.
    Sure sounds like tomorrow is going to be filled with fun and adventure for Mom and Son. He is so adorable, we love him very much. Scott called Mom tonight and she put in another Caleb request for this week-end.
    I take her to the doctor tomorrow at 3pm; I hope he can help with some of her issues since she has come home from the hospital.

    Have a great day tomorrow and guard HERBIE with your life. If he got lost Caleb would not be a happy camper. I would tell you to guard CALEB but since you are the best MOM on earth, I don’t need to.

    LOVE YOU ALL & HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON — NADINE

    Shelli
    September 17th, 2008 7:21 am

    Love the end quote. Sort of sums up my life at the moment. I don’t comment often enough, but wanted to let you know how much I love the photography… and I can’t beleive how big Caleb is getting!!

    Amber
    September 17th, 2008 7:39 am

    I wanna go . And you won’t even have to pack me any extra undies ;) For an unplanned post, it sure was interesting! Love the pick with Caleb peeping at you from the corner of his eye. And Herbie - between you and Nadine, that little stinker is spoiled rotten!! :)

    Amber
    September 17th, 2008 7:45 am

    Addendum: for some reason, after “I wanna go” the “insert whining” was erased when posted. Wouldn’t want you to misinterpret my tone, cause I’m sure you never get to hear any whining!!

    Val
    September 17th, 2008 10:40 am

    Wow! That was deep.
    Herbie looks fantastic. You need to bottle that artistic ability of yours and sell it, really.
    And those winter pictures……beautiful!

    Good luck with today. Hope its a better one for you. And believe me, I know exactly what you are talking about in regards of today being just like yesterday and the day before and before that.

    I have found that if you just remove yourself for a little while, go read a book alone or browse the mall, you feel much better when you get home!

    Dianna
    September 17th, 2008 7:15 pm

    I have days like that once in a while. They generally come to me on Sundays when I’m trying to have a good time on the weekend while still having “tomorrow is Monday” in the back of my mind.

    The pictures are great, really, I wish I could take photos as well and come up with the great angles.

    Hope today went well!

    Julie
    September 18th, 2008 7:45 am

    If I didn’t blog and get my thoughts down, I’d completely forget everything I’ve done….

    That Herbie is adorable!!! And I love all your winter photos. :)

Leave A Reply