Rewind.

Saturday, April 2, 2005 - We are all packed up to leave the hospital.  Three bouquets of flowers, one stuffed dog, one balloon and a partridge and a pear tree.  Oh yeah, and a new baby.  We came as two, we left as three.  It is one of the most surreal moments of your life.  We introduced Caleb to his new carseat, and he expressed, very loudly I might add, that he was not pleased.  My best friend was standing there holding two flower vases and the nurse asked the question.  “Do you want a pacifier?”

Since I knew everything already, because I had read What to Expect When Expecting and the first several chapters of What to Expect the First Year, I declined the paci, citing my reasons straight out of my readings like a preprogrammed response.  “No thanks, I don’t want to cause any confusion with breastfeeding, I’m sure he’ll use his fingers to suck on if he needs something.”

My friend piped up, I can still hear her say it.  “MIGHT I suggest the paci?!  Because you can take it away.”  Whereas a thumb you cannot take away.

“Good point,” I said, and with that, it began.  The nurse handed me this big goofy looking clear, one piece rubbery pacifier.  We plugged it in and our ears thanked us.  Off we went to start our life as parents.

Exhibit A - 4.18.2005 1:09pm
(Note: Gotta say it, chest clip should be at his armpits, as it is a precrash positioning device for the harness straps and is designed to break open in a crash.  In other words, MRS. SPEARS, it will not hold your child in his seat!!!)

Exhibit B - 4.18.05 1:10pm

Fastforward.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 - Caleb’s lips have been extremely chapped the last couple weeks.  I don’t know if it is the weather flip-flopping around.  I thought it was the new toothpaste I had bought, so I bought something else, but it didn’t seem to solve the problem.  I’ve been careful to limit things that might have salt on them (like some crackers or chips that have salty dust on them) because it seems to irritate his lips even more.  The Burt’s Bees chapstick works, but he doesn’t like it anymore because it feels tingly and stings a little bit if you lips are very chapped.  So I’ve been using regular old Chapstick, which I’m not a fan of.  Bad grammar, anyway.  I noticed his paci seemed to escalate the problem also, as some nights I think he hangs on to it all night long.  He has depended on it to go to sleep every night of his life between April 2, 2005 and now.  I asked him if he was ready to be a big boy and throw away his pacis.  He was very adverse to throwing them away.  Want to know why?  Because someone else could use them!  There might be a baby somewhere that didn’t have one, and he wanted to give his old ones to the baby.  (He cited baby Levi several times, the newest July addition to our family that we met last month.)  That is going to be a blessed baby.

So for the first time in three and a half years, we are officially no longer using a paci.  To me, it seems almost more significant that potty training.  It was basically the one last tie to babyhood.  And I didn’t mind it.  He has only used it at naptime and night time for over a year and a half now.  I keep feeling like I’m forgetting something when I go to put him down.  I am proud to say, he has done excellent with the transition, given the history.  Just last week, he had a breakdown one morning because he couldn’t find it in his bed and we weren’t getting there to help fast enough.  I had to fight him down for a nap on Sunday, but he eventually went to sleep after an hour.  Sunday night, I layed in bed with him.  At naptime yesterday, there was no mention of it.  And last night, he only asked one time.  Now he has no excuse left not to talk my ear off though.  At night, even more so than during the day, believe it or not, he turns into what I like to call “Chatty Caleb.”

“Mommy?”

“Huh?”

“Can I tell you just one more thing?”

“You already told me one more thing.”

“Oh.  <pause> Well can I tell you just one more thing?  Again.”

“What is it Caleb?”

<insert completely random out of the blue fact here, usually something related to cars or monster trucks>

“Oookay bud, it is time to lay down and be very still and very quiet and close your eyes okay?”

*thump on pillow* Siiiiiigh.

37 seconds pass…

“Moooom?”

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Do you remember the surprise we told you about?  “Oh no.  No”

Remember we told you the other day that we were working on a surprise?  We have it now! “Oh?  Oh!  Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

*gasp of breath*

It’s a Herbie RC!  Scott painted it!

I think he likes it.

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Lindsey, Julie & Caleb - 2006 (last time Jules saw Caleb/we were all together)

2008
Love those smiles!

He was so patient eating dinner with three giggling girls for two hours!

They humored him by letting him take pictures

lots…

…of pictures.
There are more, but I’ll spare the girls, as I’m sure they already appreciate me posting these!  Shortly after this, Jules knocked her drink across the table with pizazz.

They both got in trouble with the word police here for having potty mouths!  More laughing and perhaps a few more swears ensued.  Can’t take us anywhere!

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So, for those of you who don’t know me in person, my hair is really long.  Like really long.  About a year ago, I decided I’d grow it out a bit more and then cut off 10-12 inches for Locks of Love.  I have been needing to just go do it for several months now.  Anyway, Caleb has commented on several ocassions that my hair is very long.  I explained to him that I was going to give it to little boys and girls who are very sick.  I told him I planned to cut off a lot of it at one time so that they could use the hair to make wig.  And that some boys and girls are very very sick and they have to take medicine that makes their hair fall out.  So they will be able to use Mommy’s hair.  I explained in the most simplistic and thorough way I could think of.  He mentions it from time to time.  But today at the table, he was saying something that I couldn’t quite make out.  After several repetitions, I surmised the he was saying something along the lines of…”They are sick, so their penis might fall off.  And I could give dem my penis!”  Where in the world does he come up with this stuff?!  I assured him that nothing short of Lorena Bobbitt would make your penis fall off.  Okay okay, I left out the Lorena part.  I’m sure his future prom date will enjoy stories such as this.  I may even just make a book of my blog as a wedding present for a future wife one day.

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We had to break out a ladder.  Certainly you can understand why.

What goes up…

…must come down

I LOVE how he says “Yes!” toward the end!

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He still loves this, and so do I.  If you have a kid that is just all into this, may I point you toward the Haba marble accessories, they have all sorts of different and super cool pieces.

Caleb said, “Dis is so tall, it is even taller than de Awful Tower!”

Where is the Awful Tower you ask?  Why in France of course.  He took me into the hallway and had me pick him up to get the Awful Tower off the map and bring it in for a comparison.  It was indeed at least five times taller.

Oh and just an FYI, this picture of the Eiffel Tower came off my memory card titled IMG0001.  Do you know what that means?  It means I have taken 10,000 pictures with this camera.  Although an am surprised to say Nate beat me by over a year.  He took 10,000 photos in eight months.  I must say, I’m quite impressed.  And I thought I took a lot of pictures!

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I went in to wake Caleb up yesterday morning and he looked a little lumpier than usual.  I poked at his belly and sure enough, his belly was quite squishy.

When I asked him why he had Charley in his shirt, he replied, “To keep him warm.”

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Okay I think I’m pretty convinced now. Julie over at A Celebration of Our Journey has written about the full moon and new moon having an effect on her son, and we had discussed it some through email. We have Windows Vista, so I found a moon phase widget to put in my sidebar on my desktop. I was even able to enter the exact longitude and latitude of our location. It changes throughout the day and I can click on it to find out the illuminated fraction. I have really enjoyed having it there. The dates of the next two new moons and full moons are listed. Today is a new moon.

The moon is the darkened circle next to the info

Last night when I put Caleb to bed, he was very restless. I spoke to him several times before just starting his CD of music over and leaving the room. He started crying after a few minutes. I put him in our bed and laid down with him. All in all, it took me an hour and a half to get him to sleep. I mentioned to Scott before bed that it was probably going to be a bad night. And sure enough, he kept me up until 3:30am tossing and turning. I carried him back to his bed because I was so tired and frustrated. He was back at 6:00, wanting to get up for the day. I felt like I had just laid down. We did sleep until 8. I didn’t want to get up then, but 8 seems to be the time by which we need to be up and potty-ed to make sure he’s dry. Much later and I’m washing sheets.

When I’m not completely exhausted, the moon thing is just fascinating to me. He drove me nuts on Friday too. Obstinate would be a good word for it. He’s honestly a really good kid overall. But we all have our days.

While I’m rambling I’ll just go ahead and tell you, I have now nicknamed him Chatty Caleb. If you will listen, he will talk. Nevermind your shopping. You can do that later. Complete strangers. He talks their ear off! Most giggle and humor him but we actually had one guy run from him in Lowes the other night. And don’t even try to ignore him. He will put you in your place.

A little girl, probably about 5, and her mom were on the paint aisle in Lowes. Caleb walked up to the little girl and said, “Hey!”

She smiled.

“You have Dora on your shirt!” he says, just busting all up in her personal space and poking at her. She had already back up against the shelf as far as she could.

She still didn’t say anything.

“Seek (speak) to me! Mommy why won’t she seek to me?!”

We all began chatting about our chalkboard paint and her daughter’s room. She asked several questions about brush and roller types. Meanwhile Caleb continued to chip away at the little girl’s shy shell. Finally he just got a paint brush and started painting her. That got her giggling and with Caleb stirring the pot, they both turned into little trouble making wild indians! Climbing all over stuff and painting all us parents with brushes and rollers. As we were about to part ways, I said “Come on monkey.” The mom said “Monkey. I call her monkey sometimes too. Well a friend of mine does.”

Little children are always quick to correct, “Not a friiiend, your boooyfriend,” she exclaimed.

Her mom told me it hadn’t been long, she still just wasn’t used to saying that yet. We chuckled together at the honesty of a child.

At the playground a few weeks ago, Caleb was flagging down every passerby to talk to him. As he chatted up one lady, she asked how old he was. “I’m free years old, how old are YOU?” No secret is safe, no question shall go unasked by an inquisitive three year old.

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We worked on the front yard this weekend.  And by we I mean Scott.  Caleb ran around outside playing with sticks and hay and pine straw while everything was done.    He was peering into the leaf cart when he suddenly spotted a bug.  He immediately called Scott and I over to meet his “wittle bug fwiend named Oscar.”  I have no idea where the Oscar thing came from, but he was adamant that the little bug’s name was Oscar.

Oscar is a bug that likes to live under ground/rocks etc.  Oscar kept diving down, perhaps he was hiding from the prodding fingers of his new friend.

It came time to go and empty the leaf cart, so we agreed that Oscar should live in the flower bed in front of the porch.  Scott scooped up a handful or dirt containing Oscar and tossed it in the bed.  Caleb was about halfway devastated that he couldn’t find Oscar again.  We assured him that Oscar would be quite the happy bug having brand new fresh pine straw to bury in and lots of food to eat.  He kept up the search party for several minutes, but it seemed Oscar had found a pretty good hiding place to call home.

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When it comes to encouraging your child to be a smart ass, you’ll probably find that much of it comes naturally, especially in the teenage years. But it is never too early to start, and you may find that it comes naturally even early on in sarcastic prodigies. Take for example our situation this morning…

I finally decided to break down and vacuum. I have found that in housekeeping, one task always gets behind. If I’m caught up on the laundry, the house is in desperate need of vacuuming. If the vacuuming is done, the pool looks more like a swimming hole with the beginnings of aquatic life forms. If the pool is clean, the dishwasher and sink are full of dishes. You get the picture. So alas, the vacuuming has taken the back burner for, gasp, nearly two weeks. Or maybe it was more than two weeks. Whatever. Anyway, I’m still trying to adjust my cleaning routine from 90% carpet with only kitchen and baths non-carpet, to only one room with carpet. I love my floors, don’t get me wrong, they are hardwoods, I don’t think I have to elaborate any more. I love them. BUT, my vacuum sucks, or perhaps I should say doesn’t suck enough on these floors. I have to leave the carpet brush spinning when I vacuum the floors or it won’t pick up a grain of rice.

I decided to try something a little different this morning. Even though it is taking an ungodly amount of time, I stuck the tiny brush on the end of the too short pole and I’m using it on the floors lugging the huge upright vacuum along behind me. When I switched the vacuum setting over from the big upright part to the attachment pole, I heard screaming! I quickly turned the vacuum off to ask Caleb what was wrong. I didn’t hear anything. So I turned the vacuum back on. There it was again, what had he done? This was that gravely injured type scream. But then I see him coming up the hallway with his little mini upright vacuum. Only, he’s not the one screaming. It’s my vacuum. Spectacular, I though. Caleb cut the vacuum a look and with his ears covered, said, “Can you pwease turn dat OFF?!” I told him I needed to vacuum. He disappeared around the corner. After a minute he returned. Wearing his Monster Jam ear protection. He delivered “The Look.” You know, the one that is pictured in the English dictionary next to sarcasm.  I couldn’t help but laugh.

Not “The Look,” this is from a few months back. His ear muffs are adult size, as he was not even having the child size one, they were extremely tight. But you can see how it might crack you up to see him in them regardless of the situation.

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