funny friday

Jul 20

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, funny friday

today in numbers

Jul 19

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, caleb isaiah, creepy, parenting, today in numbers

19 - The number of times Caleb has thrown a tantrum over something totally pointless, such as his pajamas being too long, or running out of wheat thins because that is the ONLY thing he wants to eat right now.
2 - The number of loads of laundry that I should be doing right now.
0 - The number of things I have gotten done today.
1 - Dishwasher full of dishes waiting to be put up.
1.5 - Sink-fuls of dishes (when you count the counter overflow around the sink) waiting to be placed in the dishwasher.
47 - The number of times per day that I thank God that I have a dishwasher.
162 - The number of toys on the floor.
5 - The hours of sleep I got last night
3 - The number of times Caleb woke up between 2 and 4am before I brought him to bed with me.
86 - The number of times I got kicked between 4 and 7am.
96 - The ‘feels like’ temperature outside, thus the reason we are inside.
22 - The number of times I have checked to make sure the doors are locked today (see explanation below).
2.5 - The number hour hours before my dad arrives, in which I need to get baths for both of us, clean the house, do the chores listed above and clean the bathroom.
15 - The number of times I have wanted to slam my head into the wall. This number is a rough estimate, and seeing as it is only 3:49pm, I predict that this number shall no less than double by bedtime.

Explanation of the “Are the doors locked?” obsession: Last night I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep. Around 1:15am, something caught my eye, a light on the wall. It looked bright enough to be a flashlight pretty close, and the angle it came in the window, there is no way it could have been headlights on the road. It had flashed a few times and disappeared, twice. So I stared out the window for a while, and saw nothing. I came back in here to ask Scott if he had been outside, and he had not. So I went back to bed. This morning I opened the blinds and looked at our dog. He was pawing at the air trying to catch the edge of his water bucket. Now I filled this water bucket yesterday while Caleb and I were outside playing. I watched him drink from it. I KNOW he could reach it. It is a huge metal washtub, and filled probably weighs well over 20 pounds, I think it is 7 gallons. It had been moved just out of his reach. Uphill. It was clear that someone had moved it. I asked Scott, and he looked at me like I was crazy. So both of us are a little weirded out now. We’re wondering if someone was in our yard in the middle of the night. Weird.

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wordless wednesday

Jul 18

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, caleb isaiah, wordless wednesday

PEEPeye!

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good vs evil

Jul 18

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, current events, family, parenting, ramblings

Raising children is hard. But a different sense of the word hard. One that came more unexpected to me for some reason. When I was pregnant, I never worried about how to be a mother. I never worried that I wouldn’t know how to care for a newborn. I can’t say I’d had experience in the field, I just somehow felt like I already knew. Of course I can look back and say, why did I do this or not do that. I should have been more relaxed (ESPECIALLY when it came to breastfeeding). There were plenty of opportunities where I could have been a better mother. But here we are. He’s two now, walking and talking just fine. The aspect that I never thought about though, what caught me semi off-guard… It is hard to bring something so pure and so innocent into this world. A place with so much badness. You want to put your baby in a bubble. I know that sounds cliche-ish. No parent should ever have to bury their child, but thousands do it every day. And only after becoming a parent could I even begin to comprehend how heart wrenching that could be. A family of five became a grieving husband and wife after an car accident in California. Three little lives ended, all under six years old. Madeleine McCann has been missing for 76 days. From Madeleine’s myspace page, I happened upon a website for a girl who disappeared 15 years ago. She was walking from her boyfriend’s house back to her parent’s. It should have taken five minutes. Her now 14 year old son has no memory of his mother. Mothers wave their babies off to fight a war, and never see them again. It is hard to imagine your child in a world with so much pain and suffering. And all you can do is hug them tight and pray. Pray that you never feel what those parents feel. Pray that your babies never have to endure pain in their lives. Wish that you could protect them from the knowledge that bad things do happen.

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fun

Jul 17

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, caleb isaiah, i want that, in style, parenting

We met a lady and her son at the park this morning. Jack was just a month and half younger than Caleb. I scored a kick ass stroller from her for a great price. This thing is sharp! It is an Inglesina Zippy (which is a near carbon copy of a Peg Perego Pliko P3). It is black and gray, so it will work later, regardless of the sex of a future kiddo (oh no, no…don’t even go there…not yet people, I just have a stroller obsession). It is a little on the heavy side, but it folds like an umbrella stroller. I don’t have any reason to need a super light weight stroller, so it’s all good. Caleb seems to really like it. As a matter of fact, he’s sitting in it right now watching the end of Cars. It feels really comfortable. So out with the Graco and Combi, enter Inglesina! You wanna hear something sad? I have owned 7, yes seven strollers for my one child. But I think this baby (the stroller) will be sticking around. It is a full features, super nice stroller, pushes well, folds compact, huge canopy. It can even take a bassinet/carrycot made by Inglesina for a newborn. I just don’t think I can bring myself to pay more for the carrycot, than I paid for the stroller!! Like I said, I got an awesome deal, nearly $200 less than retail for a stroller that came new in the box! And the carrycot is an additional $179!! I wanted our next little one to be able to face me when being pushed, but I guess we’ll have to settle on the travel system feature with an infant seat.

Anyway, the kiddos just had a blast this morning. We met at the closest park, only about four minutes from our house. There was a camp there, with two busloads of kids. But they weren’t playground age kids, most of them were teenagers! So a few of them were running around like mad people, being all rough. Others were sitting in large groups on the play equipment. Caleb was scared of them, you know, a bunch of staring teenagers can make a little guy uncomfortable! One guy had tattoos! So you know he was probably at least 18! He was laying down on the toddler play equipment (think 6′4″ basketball player type). Kelly (the mom I met) and her little boy Jack were up on the bridge, and some bigger kids came barreling across without showing any concern for the petrified 2 year old. You know, one of those hinged bridges that shifts when you step on it? And Kelly was on the other side of the bridge, so Jack just had to hang on for dear life. We looked at each other and said at almost the same time, “Let’s go!” I said I hated for the kids to not be able to play, so I showed her the way to another park that rarely has anyone there. So the boys were able to play hard, and have a blast, and I got to interact with an adult!!! So it was nice.

Caleb has upgraded his tantrums to a Category 5. Ya know…like hurricane ratings…only tantrum ratings. I swear. Can it get much worse? He holds his fists up like he’s about to fight, but he just shakes his entire body, including his tightly clenched hands, and turns bright red while screaming. Then he just flailed all over the kitchen floor screaming and kicking, looking quite similar to a fish out of the water. I removed him from the floor and put him on his bed. He proceeded to just beat up the pillows and worm all through the covers. Quietly though. I think I saw a little steam coming up from beneath the pillows where his head was buried. I let him get it out of the system, and waited on the sea of pillows to calm, and then asked if he’d like to read a book. “Uh Huh!” And he jumped in my lap like nothing had even happened, happy as a lark! The cause of all the drama? A truck that wouldn’t fit inside another truck. Yeah.

PS one fish down, one to go. And yes I do mean down the porcelain cemetery.

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dear god

Jul 16

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, just another day in paradise, parenting, ramblings

I think this may already be on here from a while back, but I feel it pertains to my life over the past week…

Dear God:
So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my credit card. HOWEVER, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that.
Amen

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better

Jul 16

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, carseats, ramblings, rants

Feeling a little better today. Tired, but better. So far, Caleb is having an easy day though, so that always helps. I wish that I could fast forward a month or so and buy our new carseat. This recent article about Dorel Juvenille Group came as a surprise to me. So I guess not only do you have to reseach the carseats themselves, but also the companies who make them. We have an Eddie Bauer seat. Why did we get it? The same reason many people get it. Nice pattern, fluffy looking with padding everywhere (in hindsight it doesn’t seem nearly as plush as it did), a cupholder (don’t know where that is) and armrests (because really, what carseat is complete without armrests?). Oh and don’t forget Dorel’s famous product packaging…”The only carseat you’ll ever need!” Yeah. Right. We purchased this seat when Caleb was 7 months old, and I haven’t had any major complaints, but I haven’t had any experience with other seats either. I cringe at my past history in carseats, I’ve come a long way. I started off with two infant seats from complete strangers, didn’t know the history of the seats at all. Didn’t have them even close to tightly installed. My installation tightness has gone from the seat moving 3 to 4+ inches to refusing the accept an install that the car did not move with the seat. Members on my March 05 BabyCenter board began talking about who would leave their kiddos rearfacing after a year. This was just entirely new to me. One look at crash test videos answered that. The force on the child is so incredibly different between rearfacing and forward facing. Then I began obsessing over a high weight harness seat, when the Miller’s released their video on YouTube last November. I am a basket case in the car now. Scott. Don’t get me started. I’ve worked myself into tears with him driving at times. Suddenly no one knows how to drive, how to install his carseat, buckle him in. Except me. I should probably be in therapy for this! I chuckle typing it, but it is probably true. So we will be shelling out $289 (plus tax) for the Recaro. I will be able to tether his seat, forward facing and rearfacing, something only allowed by Britax and Sunshine Kids Radian at this point. Caleb is still rearfacing. I will be purchasing a child carseat from a company that has specialized in adult carseats for years. This may help me sleep a little better at night. They are a worldwide company. And they know car crashes. The know racecar crashes at that. I can’t get that Eddie Bauer/Dorel seat out of the car fast enough. I belong to a carseat safety board also, and one lady on there added a direct quote from a Dorel rep. When asked about the child that nearly died and lives in an infintile state at 6 years old as a result of a skull fracture from hitting an indention in the carseat (think pointless indention, probably for the molding process during production), he said, “It was just one child.” But a trama nurse called the company to report the problem in 2000. The model wasn’t taken off the shelves until 2000 and FIVE. Someone found a different seat that has these indentions on the shelf a few days ago. Evenflo had a crash test video of plastic shattering upon impact leaving the seat free flying to be thrown out of the car. Two years later, this happened to a family using the same seat that was still being manufactured. They lost their little boy forever. How is this even legal?? Another woman said her child was riding in a Costco seat recently and she had to slam on brakes for something…he was thrown into the seat because the harness adjuster didn’t work! 4 months old! Thankfully he wasn’t hurt I don’t think, shaken up I’m sure. I love having internet because I probably would have turned him forward facing at a year, and put him in a booster at 40lbs, not knowing there were better alternatives. I knew about Britax when we bought our seat, but I thought, man why are they so expensive? We can’t afford that! Plus this seat looks just as nice! I scoffed. Now? If I can’t eat that week, we WILL be getting that carseat the day it comes out. I don’t care if I have to send Scott in the van on Steve’s (boss) gas bill.

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just give me an “f”

Jul 15

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, parenting, ramblings, rants

In motherhood 101 that is. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been super down lately. I feel like a terrible mom. The highlight of my day this week has been when he finally goes to sleep (which isn’t until after 10pm most nights!). I know. ALL stay at home mothers think this at one point or another. But man. I’m just burnt out. In a rut. Don’t wanna get up in the morning. I feel like the guy on Office Space. I dream of doing what he did. No, no, not deriving pleasure from the therapist guy falling over dead. Just the wallowing in bed until 4pm part. When is the last time I did that? Um I would have to say the day before I became a mother! I couldn’t sleep, because really, who can sleep at 9 months pregnant? I wasn’t feeling well either. My wonderful nurse practitioner talked me into taking some Ambien just so I could rest before being induced. I wouldn’t have been allowed to go more than a few days past my due date because of gestational diabetes. So I went home and crawled into the bed that night, slept 9 hours, got up, ate breakfast and checked my sugars, and took another sleeping pill and stayed in bed until 1pm, then moved to the couch and sat there until 6pm! Ah. That was nice. Bliss really. Good thing too, because no one filled me in that I wouldn’t be sleeping for the next two years. Or maybe it’s the next 18. I wonder. Do parents sleep any easier when their baby leaves home? Or maybe it is even worse, until your kid finally reaches that age where it seems like they might just have turned out alright. PS I went into labor at 6:30pm after all of that lounging. So at this point I have totally and completely lost the original point of this rambling.

I have also noticed, that in feeling like a bad mommy, I have picked up an old habit. Our current routine is listening to a CD (of grown up songs, not your traditional poke your eyeballs out children’s lullaby cd) as Caleb falls asleep. I sit in the rocking chair next to the bed. It gives me a little quiet down time. Where nothing is required of me. I just sit and think. Unforunately, most of the time my mind drifts to my carseat anxiety complex, of what seat I should have gotten/will get/should I get/do I need a backup seat/what if we were in an accident, how would we get home without a backup seat/can you trust carseat manufacturers/my head is going to pop off………… Returning to the point. Again. We did the cosleeping thing for a while, then I moved him to a side-car toddler bed right up against our bed, then I scooted the toddler bed over a few feet, and sat between the beds until he fell asleep. Then he moved to a twin mattress and boxspring on the floor, where he still is now. I used to sit on the end of the bed, then I moved to the rocker. But the past few nights I’ve been snuggling with him in his bed. I mean what can I say when I tuck him in and kiss him twelve times, then kiss Charley five times, then him a few more, say I love yous and sweet dreams and tuck the covers snug as a bug in a rug, and he pats the pillow beside him and says “yi down mommy.” He will turn on his side to face me and snuggle his head up under my chin. At times he will reach up and gently stroke my check with his hand. Or sometimes he turns away from me and wants me to put my arm over him. I just never knew that babies could be so cuddly. I swear if the next child isn’t like this, I will do everything in my power to convert him or her into a cuddle bug. Because I got the sweetest most loving baby in the world. So I must be doing something right.

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names?

Jul 12

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, caleb isaiah, family, just another day in paradise, memories

I gathered up my old fish tank supplies when I was at my mom and dad’s. A few months ago, I thought about getting some fish, but I didn’t want to buy all the supplies. I forgot I had most of it already. So off we went on Monday night (in the rain) to acquire two fantail goldfish. We picked out a orange one for $1.99, and opted to splurge on a multicolored (orange, blank AND white) for $4.49! Best of all, they come with a 14 day guarantee. If you kill them, just return the dead fish for a replacement. For some reason I find this humorous. Anyhow, I had a fantail goldfish in college, in a very small tank of course, who has room for a 20 gallon tank on your dorm room desk? He never got more than 1.5″-2″ fan included. The girl at Petsmart tells me they grow to be about 6 inches long, and need at least a 20 gallon tank. I’m not sure whether I just made this up or not, but I have head that first adjust to the size tank they are given. Who knows, maybe I’m conducting a fish torture experiment, but I think they’re cute when they are small. So here is where they will reside, atop Caleb’s bookcase. He has already asked to take them out of the water, oooh, 928 times. Their tank makes a nice addition to his nightlight also. I had these little underwater blue and green spotlights for my tank in college, so it makes a perfect extra nightlight.

Scott has become obsessed with a purchasing a new RC monster truck. I wish someone had told me just how crappy the one was I bought him last year. Before I bought it, of course. I was so excited, I just couldn’t wait, I knew he’d be totally shocked. I squirreled away money for a few months, bought it, and had it shipped. I hid it deep in my closet. It was so much fun just for me to do it. I was like a kid at Christmas. Scott was totally blown away. I wrapped up the controller in a gift bag, and put the truck on kitchen table. He knew it was a gas powered RC as soon as he saw the controller. It was just awesome. Until all the problems began. This thing has been a nightmare. I think we’ve replaced every single part on it. Twice. He has enjoyed it through the frustration anyhow.