Well I have a few excuses for not blogging for a week. Number 1, and most important, I have officially unplugged my kid from the tv. And it was super easy, to my pleasant surprise! I also pulled the plug…he is only using his paci at naps and night time. My other reason for the lack of blogging: I am trying to come up with a new name. I change names like I change clothes apparently, but I want a new blog title and perhaps my own domain. I want something catchy that makes other moms shake their heads and say yep, been there, done that. Needless to say I’ve come up with zilch so far.

Cute things that the kiddo has done:

  • The disappearing car trick: He holds the car up and then puts it (in his hand) behind his back. He holds up the free hand as if to say “Where’d it go??” Then he points to it, and brings it back out as if he has just performed the greatest feat of all time. I clap and he grins from ear to ear, eyes dancing with delight. He even tucked the car between his upper arm and his side a few times, so it really did ‘disappear.’ I love it! Just when I thought he couldn’t get ANY cuter!
  • I had him “hewl mama” [help momma] make brownies a few nights ago. He had fun stirring and eating chocolate chips. After grabbing a fair share out of the bowl we explained that they must be mixed in, so he waved and told them bye and we stirred them into the batter.
  • After the brownies cooked, Scott tried to give him a bite, but he shook his head and ran to me. I didn’t say anything, I just set a piece with a chocolate chip on the table. He snatched it up and ate it, and then I put his in his chair. He kept attacking my plate for more. I/we finished mine and he threw his little arms up to say ‘all gone’ then glanced at Scott’s plate. Spying that daddy had some brownie left, he nearly jumped out of his chair to go steal some. He picked every little crumb off both plates.

He has a laundry list of words now. His speech has increased by leaps and bounds in the last few weeks. I think he is late talking because he wants to be sure he can say things correctly. He has never been one to babble very much either. Here is the unofficial and probably incomplete list:

Words
mama
dada/daddy
nigh-nigh (for night night)
hat
moon
ball
hey
bib
bone
eat
you
me
yay
big
baby
bubble
beep beep
child
go
help
bag
wow
wheel
cookie
up
down
bee
bowl
out
elbow
knee
boat
uhoh
more
book
door
good
ear
byebye
Oh Gah!
(Yes, he says this while throwing his hands
over his eyes in a very dramatic manner.
This usually happens when we have to come in
from outside)

plus the noises for:
car
train (hoo hoo while ‘chugging’ his arm up and down)
airplace
bird-tweet tweet
cow-moo
sheep-bah
pig-*snorts*
lion/bear/tiger/etc-roar
rooster-a very high pitched squeel
cat-neow (yes said with a ‘N’)
dog-woof woof
horse-*neighs*
owl-whooo whooo
elephant-*makes trumpeting sound while tilting his head back*
monkey-hoo hoo hoo ha ha [the CUTEST]
chicken-bak bak
siren-(like the fire chief that must live near us, we hear all the time)
honks nose

knows signs for:
eat
milk
drink
hat
drive
open
fix
more
airplane
learning I love you

And words just added in the last five minutes:
Mack [the truck on Cars (with Lightning McQueen)]
cook

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Call me a poor excuse for a parent, but we’re still going to watch TV in the evenings. But my goal is to leave the TV off from 9 or 10am until 7ish. Hey it’s a start. We’ll be finding other things to do during that time. I want to leave the TV off during the day from now on. I’m sure I’ll cave some days, but you gotta start somewhere. That’s all for now.

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va tech

Apr 19

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, current events

I have spent the better part of the week trying to find the words to put here. There just aren’t any. Each day unfolds a new layer of this tragedy. Yesterday morning NBC received a package from this kid. He killed two people and then strolled to the post office and sent off a package before returning to campus to kill 31 more including himself. I just can’t even wrap my mind around that. What did he accomplish? as heartache his only mission? I always search for under I just can’t even wrap my mind around that. What did he accomplish? Was heartache his only mission? I always search for understanding. But in this case there is no understanding.

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how cool is this?

Apr 16

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, i want that, me myself and i, ramblings

I officially began Invisaline today. So far, I have mixed emotions. We’ll start with the bad. Well, it it a little sore right now, but that is to be expected. It is a weird feeling. I feel like I want to grind my teeth together. Almost like Restless Leg Syndrome. Only Restless Teeth! He had to sand, yes I said sand off in between my teeth. That was fairly uncomfortable. It bled. Not pretty. Luckily they don’t do that every time. And the good…I am stoked about not having braces, and being able to really brush my teeth. Here’s a super cool animation of how my teeth will be moving! Since I know you’ll just wanna watch this over and over :) You can right click and hit reload image.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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7 the number of times Scott has been by the window on the lawnmower since I’ve been sitting here.

1,529,763 the number of times the dog has barked at the lawnmower.

1,529,763 the number of times I have wanted to shoot the dog today.

37 the number of times I’ve seen today’s episode of Dora.

4 the number of times Caleb stuck his finger in my eye or up my nose when going down for a nap.

3 the number of times our life has been crapped upon in the past 10 days: Scott’s cell phone stolen right out of his van by someone who lived at a house where he was fixing the heat; unpaid car tax by Scott’s exwife keeping us from getting our tags renewed; the lawnmower just fuckin blew up. Ain’t life grand.

89 the number of times I’ve cussed in the last 10 minutes.

46 the number of miles to be driven to grandmother’s house after Caleb’s nap.

6 the number of flaming torches I plan to feel like shooting from the vehicle at gas stations selling gas for $2.89/gallon.

9 the number of times I’ve sneezed today due to allergies.

57 the number of times I’ve felt like slamming my head through a plate glass window this week.

Update: the lawnmower may not be blown up after all, but is still in need of a part, thus leaving the yard half mowed.

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untitled

Apr 12

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, family, me myself and i, memories, parenting, ramblings


Ever get to a place in your life and stop and wonder, how did I get here? I don’t even like this person. I can’t see or even remember who I used to be. I feel like the world is in the distance ahead of me, becoming more faint and minuscule with each passing day. And here I sit, wondering where time and everyone else is going. I love being a mother. I do. It keeps me grounded. Sane. In love. But where do I define myself outside of being a mother? I don’t know anymore. I’m impatient and sad most days. My head feels foggy. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a beautiful healthy little boy. I have a man who would move heaven and earth for me. I am blessed. But I feel tormented. Depression is ugly. And I don’t like the way it looks on me. I don’t know where to start looking for the happiness I used to see in myself. I remember what it feels like. I can still taste it. I can still see a glimpse in my memories, but the mirror tells a different story. 1999. Before my entire world changed. It felt like flying a kite. Every day. Just waking up with a smile. Magical. The blue skies, the wind whistling in the trees, sunlight filtering through. Undisturbed beauty. Silent and deafening at the same time. Life was simple then. I just want to be happy. I love my life. I just don’t love myself in it. Time to build a kite.

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memory monday

Apr 09

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, caleb isaiah, memories, memory monday

Your current obsession: shoes. Everyone must be wearing them. At all times. You bring me my shoes when you find them. You point at my bare feet. You look up with these huge, blue questioning eyes. Why? Why would I even consider going shoeless? Yesterday when you awakened from your nap, you came in the room ever so quietly. You were dressed in only a onesie, because I thought your pants would be uncomfortable for naptime. Instead of finding us, you put your shoes on…the wrong feet. So in you walked from your nap, wearing a onesie and tennis shoes on the wrong feet looking all grumpy and sleepy. Priceless.

We decorated Easter eggs one day last week. This is as brave as I got with a toddler. Eggs and stickers. We’ll save all that permanent egg dye for later :)

Please note the yellow egg near the top center of the tree.
It has approximately 10 stickers placed one on top of another

What kid doesn’t love bubbles. You are no exception. We found that going outside with the bubble gun shortly after a rain preserved the bubbles when they hit the ground. They did not pop until 1-4 minutes later. It made for an interesting effect.

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I did it! Finally. I made the video montage that I’ve been meaning to make for over a year now. I haven’t cried yet. Teared up? Yes, but the tears haven’t streamed yet. I’m sure if I watch it on the right day, I will cry. It is only a matter of time. I can’t believe how big our little guy is getting. Daddy is out ‘hiding’ Easter eggs right now, and we’re going out to hunt in a few minutes.

 

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I’ve even picked out a possible third one. I don’t even have a drawing of the second yet! But for some reason I’m obsessed with this tattoo by Ultimate Arts.

I am looking a wide variety of trees right now, and I’m totally lost on it. Some look a little more femine than others. Some have too much detail for the size I want more that likely. I think I just need to go and talk with an artist. Something I probably shouldn’t have my toddler tag along to do. Here are some of the images I have saved:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

1. I like a lot…more femine

2. I love love LOVE. A lot of detail though, it takes up her whole back.

3. More just an example for reference.

4. Love it. Not sure about the color, it could of course be done without. Obviously I would leave out the huge eyeball.

5. Just love the tree in this, but again, it’s huge.

6. This is a better example of the motherhood knot I want to incorporate. The true ‘heart’ shape is more evident.

 

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a new tattoo?

Apr 03

Posted by: Rachel in: blog, i want that, ramblings

I’ve been working up a design in my head:

A winding tree, representing growth/life. Possibly working the Celtic motherhood knot into the roots somehow, not sure about that. Or maybe having a newborn baby in the roots of the tree. It seems like I saw a picture somewhere with that. Then adding the design on my necklace that Scott got me for my first Christmas as a mother to the trunk of the tree. Then a pale blue daffodil up in the branches of the tree. Yes daffodils are yellow/white, but I like blue better, and pale blue is the birth stone color for March and a daffodil is the flower for March. I would leave room to add more flower(s) for future kid(s)

My necklace is similar to this one:

And the Celtic motherhood knot that I’m unsure on looks like this, minus the flower of course:

That design is basically two hearts if you dissect it, could do one pale blue for my birth month (March) and dark blue for Scott’s (September). Remember this would be somewhere in the roots of the tree, but it makes sense, our birth stone colors…he grew from us…tree of life…yeah.

Hmmmm. I must think. And probably draw, because even an artist may look at me like I am nuts.

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